some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
Randomize
