The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
Well sundance is in town and Im going to use my one and only shot to bang Taylor swift... Does it count as a random if shes famous?
I ordered a million chicken go wraps and they gave me five. Even when im drunk I can count to a million and know its not five. They fucked me.
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
The sun is out, the birds are chirping, I made some brownies, I'm not pregnant
This is literally what my 13-year old cousin said to me this morning.
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
Randomize
