Just threw up at the table during our Father's Day dinner. And I managed to get quite a bit on dad, so that was nice.
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
Eating Doritos is not nearly as enjoyable when I'm not drunkenly feeding them to peacocks.
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
Randomize
