i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
Randomize
