we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
third nipple confirmed
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
Randomize
