he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
Randomize
