OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
I just checked and if you bring a picture of your ex they will shred it and give you a free 'hater shot'. Would it be too much to print off one of their wedding pictures and bring it?
I really love that you're not going the 'why am I not married and having a kid yet?' route, but rather 'thank god I dodged that bullet'
Randomize