Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
How did I get home last night?
We put your keys on a lanyard that asked anyone that found you to bring you home. A nice man in a cape, green shorts and a mesh shirt dropped you off this morning.
Oh. Yeah. Riiiggghhht
Randomize
