nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
Randomize
