it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
this hospital has no fireball
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
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