Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
i now understand why vodka
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
Randomize
