after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
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