____ banged a stripper...well technically she's now a hooker...
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
Randomize
