Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
Randomize
