Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
Everything about him screamed your future.
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
Randomize
