He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
oh god the rape fog is back!
I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
I gave the guy a $20 tip on a $9 cab ride, he thought I was just bad at math but I was really just incredibly thankful to be alive and home.
I was like "don't worry, I'm a math major and you deserve the shit out of that 222% tip"
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
I wasn't that drunk.
You were calling my cat 'Simba' and holding him up in the air.
Randomize
