My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
I'm already too high to be publicly presentable. I just looked at myself in the mirror without my sunglasses. Debated contacts. Said aloud "But I'm nothing without my sunglasses."
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
I just gave my mom some ones that look like they've probably been in some strippers cooter. Oops.
Haha. Just tell your mom not to smell them
Hey mom, most of this money I'm giving you is in ones. Don't ask why and whatever you do don't smell them.
Sounds legit to me.
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
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