Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
and i looked up. we had an audience...
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
40s are totally the cure
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
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