if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
In the airport and just saw a little boy put his head in his mother's crotch... I guess he took a whiff because he backed up and said loudly, "mommy your pee-pee is stinky!"
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
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