he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
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