just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
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