Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
Remember that night I drank a bunch of vodka, pounded your Jameson because 'you were a pussy', punched you in the face and ran off as fast as my high heels could go? It was just my Russian and Irish sides fighting for genetic dominance
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
Just got 20% off at the liquor store. How you ask? I asked if there was an "I got divorced today" discount.
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
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