i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
Randomize
