just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
remind me to tell you about the ham sandwich empire im building
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
THE COP WHO TOOK MY MUGSHOT LAST NIGHT JUST ADDED ME ON FACEBOOK
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
Randomize
