what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
Dude, this chick just tossed my salad hard. All that I could picture was a dog trying to get the last of the peanut butter out of the jar of Jiff and trying not to think of how grotesque my last dump was.
Then she tried to kiss me and I wouldn't and she got pissed off and went to sleep. Then about an hour later, her kid called her. She went home and on the way out I told her to wash her mouth before she kissed her kid good night. Weird night..
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
His fucking flight got canceled because the president stopped at the airport he was flying out of... Fuckin Obama literally just cock blocked me
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
Im sober enough to understand what people are saying but drunk enough to understand its hilarious
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
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