we made out on top of his cat.
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
He came up behind me making dolphin noises in my ear when I noticed a collection of hors d'ouevres from the reception earlier in his jacket pocket
I will never doubt you again...he IS perfect for you
A homeless guy wouldnt accept my granola bar because he didnt have any teeth. I think i win the prize for the ultimate rejection
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
Randomize
