i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
I need you to perform a face transplant. Please remove your face from your accounting book and relocate it to where it's most needed - between my legs.
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
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