Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
I love my grandma, but if I have to sit and watch one more show on Bravo, I'm gonna burn her fuckin house to the ground
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
I told the cop to try walking in heels and he'd understand why I was walking home without then on. He told me he only does that on Wednesdays.
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
