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• (910): View more from North Carolina

  is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.

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• (773): View more from Illinois

  I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.

  (847): View more from Illinois

  Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.

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• (615): View more from Tennessee

  i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket

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• (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can

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• (802): View more from Vermont

  there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.

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• (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.

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• (720): View more from Colorado

  I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis

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• (843): View more from South Carolina

  Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..

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• (651): View more from Minnesota

  Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.

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• (508): View more from Massachusetts

  If I was 5 years younger and single...

  (413): View more from Massachusetts

  She STILL wouldn't fuck you.

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• (516): View more from New York

  We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.

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• (775): View more from Nevada

  I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies

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• (239): View more from Florida

  I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night

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• (904): View more from Florida

  I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet

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• (850): View more from Florida

  Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.

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