I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
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