i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
one might say we're banned from that church
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
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