I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
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