I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
Im at a party and this guy hitting on me just showed me his 'caution choking hazard' tattoo right above his penis. There goes any chance he had of getting laid tonight.
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
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