I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
dude, i think i am in a porno. I was working out at the hotel gym and some chick was doing yoga and a guy comes up and says "good, now i know your flexible" then they started making out. WTF?
my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
No one will ever find true happiness until they have gotten stoned and taken off the bra they've been wearing all day.
You, my dear friend, are a poet of the deep mental longings of women worldwide.
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
Tomorrow's Mother's Day and the only thing I can afford is beer and the McDonalds dollar menu. Do you think a Budweiser and a Big Mac says thank you for me fucking up your life since 1990?
Speaking of which.. there's underwear in my backseat and Arby's cheese sauce on my door handle. So much for my new Volvo bringing out my classy side.
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
Randomize
