My wife caught me jerking off, I had to tell her I was thinking bout her
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
I've been alternating between telling people I was mauled by a bear or hit by a car to explain the massive unexplainable bruise on my leg. Slightly more worried now that the car idea is believable.
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
Randomize
