I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
Randomize
