go do what you do best...puke behind churches
whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
I'm in a dress, surrounded by Republicans, and the bartender just told me he's "out of Jack Daniels" in a very accusatory tone. Shit, is it only 8 PM?
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
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