I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
Randomize
