Let's just have a brief moment of silence for my dignity before we start tonight
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
Randomize
