Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
My dermatologist just asked me, "what happened here?" referring to the bruising on my nipples. I told her I walked into a door. Thanks for that awkward moment.
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
Randomize
