just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
Randomize
