Small penises have feelings too.
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
Randomize