I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
Say something about gay babies.
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
Listen, yo... we need to have a serious conversation about this Dollar Store toilet paper. Because if I’m going to finger someone’s ass, it’s not going to be my own.
Randomize
