Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
i don't plan on having that self control this summer
I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
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