I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
Randomize
