I just saw a hot homeless man
he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
Randomize
