All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
So I'm on the can right now reading a court transcript for an appeal. Some dude is paying $155 an hour for me to take a shit.
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
I came so hard my ears popped.
Randomize
