I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
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