okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
Randomize
