i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
Im part way to drunk.
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
Randomize