big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
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