im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
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