Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
Randomize
