I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
I ishhh haha are u coming nack easyer?
the fact that I know you're asking me if I'm coming home for easter makes me believe I speak fluent vodka.
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
Is there a card that says "Sorry I got drunk at your Christmas party and tried to steal your monogrammed hand towels so that I could give you something nice for Christmas"?
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
Randomize
