i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
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