At this point, I would light birthday candles in my vagina for free drinks
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
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