idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
I'm at the store buying a new phone cause I pissed all over mine last night. Drunk me is expensive as shit.
If you fucking touch my phone and text people, drunk or sober, ever again, i will shove a swizle stick up your pee hole.
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