Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
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