nut hugger
You're completely useless in the revolution.
Here's a fun fact your kittens ate my vomit last night
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
Question #1: Why am I on my living room floor? Question #2: Where did the bloody footprints come from? Question #3: Why are there two McChickens next to the wine bottle?
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
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